If they lose their friend's toy, have them replace it. If your child doesn't put their clothes in the hamper, don't wash them. Emphasize natural consequences and making amends.They'll learn that life is about making choices and that privileges are earned by good behavior. If your child is cutting corners on homework because they're too busy with outside activities, let them pick which ones to keep and which to drop. 8- to 10-year-olds respond well to having options. Then set an appropriate consequence together (but on your terms), and follow through on it. For new problems, discussion is now a great tool. If their misbehavior is a type that you've discussed before and that your child knows is wrong, don't give it undue attention. They'll feel understood and less fearful of telling the truth in the future. However, I know that you did spill it, and we believe in telling the truth because it is the right thing to do," and then have them help clean up. For instance, if they spill a glass of milk and deny doing it, say, "I know those tumblers are hard to handle, so I'm not upset that you spilled it. Don't shame your child or dwell on whether they did or didn't do something, but point out that what they said is not true and briefly discuss the importance of being honest. Such behavior is normal at this age, but it is important to teach children about honesty. When they do, praise them, and respond to the request as you normally would. Tell your child that when they talk in a whining voice, you will not listen, and they need to speak to you in a normal voice. If they lose control, explain that the two of you will talk as soon as they can calm themselves down. For instance, consider granting a polite request to stay a few minutes longer at a playdate if there's no pressing need to leave. Give your child advance notice, but be mindful that time will mean very little to them, so reminders such as "we are leaving when this cartoon is over" will make more sense than "we are leaving in 15 minutes." Additionally, try to avoid power struggles. Emphasize natural consequences and making amendsÄiscipline will look different at every age, but this chart can help guide you.Discuss their misbehaviors, especially for new problems, and set consequences together.Rely on short-term rewards and frequent reinforcement.Encourage independent problem-solving skills.Try a behavior management system, such as a reward chart. Broaden their view on certain behaviors by evoking empathy.Realize that lies and cheating are normal at this age, and handle these situations calmly.Have them help with tasks, but don't expect them to always follow through.Handle tantrums with care direct your child to positive behavior.Help them begin to master their feelings.Minimize power struggles by stating expectations and offering simple choices.Handle meltdowns by comforting and distracting.Focus on preventing accidents and misbehavior.
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